Question
My pastor has said that the unity candle is not part of the Marriage Rite and cannot be used in church. Where did it come from and why is it opposed by church leaders?
--Unsure in Utah
Answer
Eastern European Slavic countries claim to be the birthplaces of the unity candle. [No proof exists for this. The apron rite is also considered part of their heritage, yet this custom's origin is also not known.] After the revision of the Marriage Rite in other Christian churches [not Catholic], it became popular to use the unity candle to lengthen the rite and allow, as one Presbyterian minister told me, more time for photographs in the church, and some symbol of the unity that has taken place.
Catholic Church leaders consider the unity candle a redundant ritual, duplicating the other symbols of the rite already present. Namely, the couple, the vows, the rings, and the eucharist are all symbols of unity.
Some objections are:
1. "Give the couple something to do!" Answer: what were the vows and rings?
2. Blowing out the individual candles seems to suggest that they are leaving their old life for a new one together. Answer: they do not leave their old life!
3. "The two become one." Answer: it is in Christ that they are one and not through any symbol.
4. The "passing of the baton approach" of the unity candle.
5. Allowing it to be placed on the altar, which is only to have the elements for Eucharist, or adding other tables and chairs.
6. The proselytizing of a commercial product.
Some have argued that if you allow the bride and groom to memorize their vows, they will feel that they have been given an important task, "something to do."
A crucial ritual question: does the unity candle over-explain or exaggerate the rite? When the marriage is celebrated within a Mass, the Eucharist is the high point.
For those who have already purchased their unity candle packet [which comes in some catalogs and Modern Bride wedding materials], use it at the prayer time of the reception. Couples need to be catechized that they are not losing their identity, and are not becoming something they are not. This candle can be ritualizing something that is not true. Theologians and liturgists alike strive for honesty and integrity with symbols and therefore have raised objections over the last decade to the unity candle.